Dear Madeline:

Yes, that was before the official romantic relationship. I agree with you that it is “so much more complicated” (in the title of your thread). As I re- read your original post there is a whole lot I am missing, lots of questions. For example, you wrote regarding the breakup, that  was following an official romantic relationship: “Next thing I know she’s at my house crying hysterically and kissing me, but breaking up with me, saying  my insecurities give her insecurities. She wants to stay with  me but leaves when I start having a panic attack”

You mentioned her depression but I don’t know much about your panic attack or attacks while being her friend and during  the relationship, how your anxiety was expressed in the relationship (see what I italicized above)?

anita