Dear Nikkole:

I am familiar with the guilty feeling regarding talking about one’s parents negatively. That also stands in the way of healing. Best you can adhere to the  Truth, be loyal to the  Truth, because this is where hope  is.

A child and adult child  will feel ungrateful to a parent who beat  them 99% of the  time for the 1% of feeding  the  child, doing something pleasing for the child. That  one percent  is enough to bring about the guilt.

Problem is no one  does evil 100% of the time. Cartoon characters do, but not  people  in real life. The  cruelest person in the world is sometimes nice  to  somebody. So guilt is something all adult children face when healing  from childhood abuse, and abuse in childhood is very common.

Given your current experience with your mother, what are your thoughts about the future relationship with  her, if  any, so to promote your own healing?

I will be away from the computer  soon for the next seventeen hours or so. I hope to read more from you when I return/ anytime.

anita