Hello Anita,

I’ve never taken the time to ask myself those questions, so I took some time to really think and feel it out. This is what I’m usually thinking when I’m with her and she’s talking about her problems: “Why does she focus so much on other people?”, “Why is she like this? What in her past happened to make her like this?”, “Just accept her. Just let her be who she is.”, I usually find myself analyzing / judging / trying to understand her actions and words.

Being seen as “just a person” to my mom makes me feel hurt, empty, as if I’m not her daughter, a little confused, unaccepted, sad. I never feel like I can truly be myself around her. I’m always defensive around her, and feel like I can’t just allow myself to be.

Yes, it is a lot of negativity that I feel. I just tone everything down because I feel like I am making things seem worse than what they are/ were. I still can’t seem to know if I really was emotionally abused or not. I feel like I was, but am still very unsure.

Hello Lampost,

Thank you for taking the time to write all that (: Yes, I like to analyze things a lot, but sometimes I analyze too much and I get stuck in my head. You’re totally spot on about the critical mindset, I experience that literally everyday. However, since I’ve started meditating I do find myself thinking a little less, but it’s still a work in progress. Just yesterday at work, I talked to a co-worker who I trust about my childhood. I have never shared that with anyone else besides my significant other, so it was really nice to finally open up and share a little of my story. I really am excited to be on the path of healing, so thank you again for the post!