Dear letgo:

You are very welcome. You wrote: “knowing no outside force should effect my state of being”- I don’t  think it is possible for an outside force or person to not affect how we feel when exposed to that force or person. Let’s say the force is a strong  wind, we can do our best to  not be  blown away, but at best we will succeed but get exhausted staying put and we may lose our hat. And if  the wind lasts too long, we will get too tired at  one point and be  blown away. When the  force is a person that distresses us, we can do our best to continue  to function well in life but we will get  exhausted doing so, not be as functional as otherwise, and as time goes on become less and less functional.

And  so, I do hope the situation  resolves soon enough.

I was wondering about something: in the beginning of your original post you wrote that you learned from her about the person you don’t want to be, that she served as your “most intense mirror”, that you “watched her do, be and say things that I realized was so ugly and nasty and DAMN I’ve been that way! I have done a complete change in who I am because  of it”-

You wrote that she is  judgmental, not supportive, manipulative, selfish, a control freak, inconsiderate and more: “constant judgment and  zero support…the type of person who CANNOT be alone… A young soul… manipulation and selfishness… the first real ‘control freak’ I’ve ever  met… lives in such misery within herself… a sad and miserable person to  her core, that is what  spills out of her in all aspects of her life.  Her relationships (and lack there of)… She  is the most  inconsiderate person I’ve ever known”

If she was your most intense mirror, does it mean that you were those thing, quoted right above) and because of  seeing your reflection in her, you changed (“I have done a complete change  in who I am”)?

anita