Anita,

I’ve been  responsible for multiple situations where I spent bill money on more immediate “this will keep her happy, yes, hon we can do that” spending, even to the point of being in danger of foreclosure twice.

Sunday she brought up a small thing I hadn’t done (a battery to replace) and the sharp tightness in my chest of a panic reaction made me realize I have a deep seated fear that all the EMDR hasn’t touched yet.

I’ve realized ( put the most of it together very recently) that I’m the toxic side of our codependent spiral. Been reading like crazy to find advice on how to get out of my being the toxic one… but almost all of the advice around is how to break things off from us toxic people and not be the codependent anymore.  Found some things, but I’ve got a lot to ask my therapist about tomorrow morning.

H