Thanks Brandy for the advice.

If I’m honest with myself, the purpose of contacting my ex is to keep the connection alive. Perhaps to stop his healing & moving forward I guess so that he doesn’t get over me and move on. I’m thinking out loud now, but I figure I’m hoping it will do something. That it will change the situation I’m in, for the better.

I have been doing meditation sporadically lately and I’m noticing, it’s resulting in a very upset and crampy tummy. It used to be a source of solace and calm for me, but lately I’ve had to stop mid-meditation when my tummy gets so bad, because it’s too hard to not be focused on that and also I usually need to hold a cushion or heatpack to it to get it to eventually settle down.

Its presumably anxiety but I don’t know the trigger as such.