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Reply To: Absolute despaire after a break up

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#268077
Anonymous
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Dear Turtle:

You are welcome. When I read your original post  for the first time, yesterday, I was immediately curious about this sentence that  you wrote there: “He is often anxious and insecure so I didn’t want him asking me  to be his girlfriend out of insecurity”. In your most recent  post you wrote: “He  did have a  lot of insecurities and it did make me wonder if  he was looking for the next best  thing while constantly he was craving  attention”-

I don’t understand the concern there, and I think it  may help you to explore this with me a bit. Reads to me that you consider his anxiety (this is what  you mean by the word insecurity, correct?) as a character fault  of sorts, you thought of him as less-than, for being  anxious and for craving  attention, as if he  was  not capable  of loving you?

And if so, you are anxious as well, is that what  you meant  by “I just didn’t  think I was relationship material”, for  being anxious?

anita