Dear blkhwkdwn1:

How interesting, that she  accidently called you while or right after you submitted your post!

You asked me: “what does it seem like is happening between the 2 of us?”

First I want to look at an answer someone  gave you, that it is not a friendship, but “just 2 people who text/call each other who are  afraid of interacting  on a more personal level due  to not wanting to be  rejected or something”

Most friendships and  most relationships and marriages can fit this description, with minor editing, for example: this is not a relationship, just  two people who text/ call and  sleep with  each  other (and have  dinners together or  children, etc.) who a re afraid of interacting on a more personal level due  to  not wanting to be rejected or something.

In other words, everyone’s  afraid, and no adult that I know of starts fully  trusting another, jumping in all vulnerable and  unafraid.

More about  your question for me: I  think that on your end, it is definitely true that you wish to have that summer happen again, that you have wanted  an intimate relationship with her for a long time. On her end, I want her to feel similar to how  you feel. The reason I write that I want her to feel like  you do, is because I have to notice when I want something to be a certain way, I invest  in seeing  it that way, so I have  to be careful.

Having  that  in  mind, it seems to me that her liking  of you from the beginning was genuine, that she was spontaneous and sincere when she  expressed concern and  affection for you. I believe she was because having gotten to know  you, there  is a reason why you have  been focused on this one  woman: you perceived that her   interest in you was  sincere and  genuine. I trust  that perception and  it is  this  perception, which  I believe  to be reality, that fuels your interest in her/ this very thread.

What are  her thoughts, I don’t know. Was she  open for an intimate relationship with you at any  time, and  maybe  figured that  it  is not  going to happen, maybe. I don’t know. It’s been a  long time of knowing you, so it is a  long  history of her thoughts and feelings, and some  changes along the  way.

I would say that  at  this  point, if she  was open to an intimate relationship before,  she probably gave up on that by  now.

I am thinking  again, that her interest  in you and her affection for you was  sincere all along. I don’t know if she thought at  any time: I want  a bf/gf relationship with  this man. I  don’t know if she thought that. Maybe  it  crossed  her   mind  (so many  things cross  our minds!) but I don’t  know if she  ever had  that serious thought or intent.

anita