Dear Shelby:

You shared the following: “I grew up with loving parents, no abandonment… I had a stable, caring upbringing as far as  I  can remember!” There is only one scary incident from your childhood that you remember,  “one tiny small incident”, when you were maybe 10-12, something you “didn’t make a big deal of”.

Following a supposedly loving, stable and uneventful childhood, you didn’t  have a single boyfriend all through your adolescence, all through your twenties and past thirty. Instead, you had “flings with a few guys, but none were  in a relationship with me. And  none were serious.”

All through your twenties you “assumed the role  of caretaker in my family… It was comfortable and safe but loneliness catches up with everyone I think so that’s probably why I decided I  wanted a relationship a few years ago”. And so, four years ago, at about 32, you had your first and so far one and only boyfriend.

About a couple of years  ago the relationship ended, you experienced severe anxiety and depression, started taking anti depressant/ anti anxiety medications and attended therapy. There was a resuming of the relationship and about two months ago, a second breakup. Following the second breakup you experience persistent anxiety and depression and you are still taking psychiatric medications and attending therapy.

I reached out to you repeatedly in the context of your three threads, trying to lead you to consider the  idea that your childhood was not as loving, stable and  uneventful as  you presented but failed to get your interest in examining your childhood/ current relationships and  position in your family of origin. I suppose you are  comfortable enough as is. It is time for me to give up my  efforts. because  I figure you are  not interested and  it  is frustrating to try again and again… and yet again to reach  out to a person who is not interested.

In your most recent  post you wrote: “Sometimes I  wonder am I meant for more?”-

I don’t  know. Regardless, I wish you well and I hope you continue your active participation in this  website, communicating as well as you have, empathetically, respectfully and gracefully with multiple members.

anita