Shelby,

It is natural to have the ups and downs of any form of contact. I too had those each and every time but it does get easier each time. I think the best way to proceed is exactly that, accept his words and actions as truth in this particular moment. The point where I started moving forward, even though it hurt the same, is when I physically told myself that there is nothing I can do in this moment in time to change my circumstances with regards to our relationship. There was physically nothing I could have said or done to change his mind. I HAD to deal with the fact that he does not want to be with me. I HAD to move forward – whatever that meant.

Tell yourself that you cannot physically do anything at present and therefore your must continue with life. Whether that is working, exercising, cleaning, listening to music, watching movies, meeting up with friends – whatever it may be you MUST continue. Your heart will hurt for a while longer, it will. You will still think of him, you will still be hurt but you have to give yourself a little kick to keep going. You want to be happy in life and you most definitely deserve to be happy in life and as it stands you are the only one who can make that happen at this moment.

Try and maybe approach this holiday season and new year as a fresh start, new beginning. You will be occupied with family over the festive period and then use the new year as an excuse for a fresh start. Tell yourself that 2019 will be your year! It’ll be a year full of self development, self love and doing everything that you think will make your soul a little lighter!