Shelby,

You’re very similar to me in the way that you overthink and over analyse things. I know it is easier said than done but it is also easier for an outsider to see things you may not. Instead of over thinking, try to accept whatever he said as true. I am sure he enjoyed seeing you, after all he does love you and does not want you hurting, I suppose splitting up to him was the lesser of two evils – letting you go on to be happy in your life, or in constant misery because he can’t progress the way you want. He said he would like to speak with you over Christmas. Accept this as true. Don’t think of it as his guilty conscience or a way to repay you for the hurt he caused – he would like to speak to you over Christmas, so provided that you are happy to do this the option is very much there. In fact, I can almost guarantee that he is hoping that you will take him up on his offer and reach out to him over the festive period, he wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise – men are strange human beings like that.

Yes, definitely take time to digest things. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to do whatever it may take to get there you just have to figure out how.

I’m okay today. Had a moment earlier where I began doubting everything again. Also, my father recently found out that me and my ex are in contact again and he is not impressed. My mum said he is extremely upset and cannot forgive him for the pain he caused his daughter (me). Although i can completely understand, it’s of course added a little bit more of the sour taste to the whole situation. Nevertheless it is what it is. I am counting down until Friday to get out of here and start a new in 2019!