Do you think part of you might be afraid of a deeper commitment or what comes with a deep commitment, now that you’ve finished the service and are together more often?

Sometimes the idea alone of that kind of commitment can be scary because the harder you fall, the more it hurts if something should happen to break you apart, so our minds (egos) tend to try to protect us by filling our heads with doubts and worries, even when everything else is going really well. It creates a fear response as a way to protect us from potential future pain, even when you’re happy with the relationship itself.

Did you also just get out of the service 2 months ago? If so, has your life changed a lot in that time? If you’ve been having to go through a big adjustment in other parts of your life, that might be part of it as well. Like you said, when things started feeling wrong, you instantly related it to her, but nothing might actually be wrong but just different.. but it might feel wrong to your mind because different is often uncomfortable and our minds sort of attach to what we know, so different often feels bad unless it’s an obvious good change. SO, if you’re experiencing a life change altogether that requires a big adjustment to what your life was like before, it could bring on these feelings and anxieties as well, even when nothing is actually wrong. Again, this is our mind’s attempt to protect us from pain by making us freak out (super counterproductive. haha).

If what I’m saying sounds to you like it could be right, try to meditate. Just simple meditation where you breath in and out slowly, counting to 10 in and 10 back out, try to let the thoughts pass through your mind as they come without really thinking much on them so that you can sort of quiet your mind and just keep shifting your thoughts back to focusing on your breathing.  Do this for like 10-20 minutes twice a day if you can.  Meditation has been proven in studies to be calming for mild anxieties and the extra focus and clarity that comes with doing it can help you sort of get past that voice in your head that is afraid and making you want to freak out and through to the calmness of your heart.