Ali,

I can’t begin to imagine what you have experienced in your life so far. You saw up close and personal the evil side of life and it obviously has deeply impacted you.

I can imagine how difficult it must be for you to find hope, to see any kind of future where you’re not broken. But you’re not, ya know? You are proactive, you exercise and eat well and have the ability to love another creature and accept love from that animal. You hold down jobs to afford therapy rather than bum out and do drugs or any other vice you can think of.

Do you see how strong this makes you? To have made it to 26 with all that has happened to you and still be breathing. Still be functioning. I’m in awe. You have a lot more innate strength than you think you have. It’s hard for you to see, so it’s easier for me to say as an impartial observer.

The thing about therapy is that not every therapist suits every client. It can take a while and several attempts to get the right fit, but when you do, change happens, growth happens, healing happens.

I read a lot on psychology and trauma and if my two cents are any good, it seems you have to relive and experience ‘as a child’ to really feel the pain of it and have an inner dialogue with whomever you need to during this process to finally let it go and be free. But that’s just some stuff I’ve learned, im not a qualified psychologist who would really be the best route if you are feeling so low.

Just because you have had a tough tough life this far, DOES NOT mean it will forever be that way. Your mind and fear may try to convince you that there is no hope, don’t listen. It’s a coping mechanism, it can change..