Dear  Agnes1205:

You are welcome.

“do you think she’ll actually hurt herself when I left her?”-

-You already tried to hurt yourself by swallowing lots of pills. You didn’t write about her doing such a thing. So I would say, based on history, you are  more likely to hurt yourself if you stay,  than she is  likely to hurt herself if you leave.

Reads to me that she has  a strong motivation to feel loved by making another  person suffer, causing another person to be afraid for her life. This  person has  been  you for a while. If and when you leave her, she will  find another person. Maybe that  guy she mentioned was such person already,  maybe she told  him similar things she told  you.

But it is her motivation to make another suffer that  will motivate her  to live. She gets  a thrill in seeing another worry for her life, seeing another feeling guilty, so she is likely to keep reaching  for that  thrill.

Basically, your choice is between remaining her victim or  freeing yourself, don’t you think?

anita