Hi Anita, Happy New Year!

I made the move to my Aunt’s house on new years eve. It was very difficult for me to leave my brother but we left on very good terms. I helped him set up his place a little nicer before I left and we had a great dinner and everything was so good in that moment. Now that I am here at my aunts I feel very lonely. All the things I was complaining about I miss. I know this sounds immature but it is true. I miss my brother and even my father. I have been down and out these last two days. Another change in my life. I was feeling good about myself and trying to fight my codependency but here I am again. I was up all night with anxiety and fear of life. I don’t know where I am heading. I feel so lonely in life. I miss the man I thought I was going to be with forever. I miss having a routine. I miss my mom. I miss myself when things were much simpler and I was more naive and loving. Learning about all the narcissists in my life and that I was with one for almost 5 years has took a toll on me. I have made a lot of progress but I continue to hurt and feel lonely on days like today. It is like every self doubt thought I have ever had comes rushing at me and I feel like the girl I used to be. Lonely, insecure and afraid. I just want to maintain my confidence and feel stable in life. Sometimes I do and sometimes I feel lost. I am so sad to start this new year this way. I was hoping for a better start.