Dear anita,

I think K. and I just broke up. Yesterday I sent him a message, asking if we could talk. Because we rarely see each other. Because we almost never text each other. When I text him, he only replies with “how are you” and doesn’t respond much to my questions or doesn’t tell much about his life.Yesterday I looked at his facebook profile and saw that he has marked himself as “single”. I don’t know if this had been there all the time and maybe I only realized yesterday?

To me it seemed like he was not interested in me. Also when we met a few weeks ago… We watched a movie together, we started kissing and moved to the bed, but he turned the PC around so he could see the movie. Even after we finished he went straight back to watching the movie. Then when it was over, he asked if we should turn off the light. We were sleeping hugging closely and I felt close to him that night. But in the morning I felt insecure again.

We just talked on the phone. I barely could hear him, because my phone is old. Maybe I should have gotten a smartphone, to communicate better? I don’t want a smartphone because it is a big distraction… I asked him if he found it weird that we barely communicated with each other. He said that he has a lot to do and that he thought I would understand. He said he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore and asked what I suggested. I wanted to ask, if he could just write sometimes and tell me more about his life. But I don’t know if he heard me correctly, I think he just told me that he doesn’t have the time. He suggested that we break up, because he doesn’t want to continue to hurt me anymore. He said he didn’t think it would be so difficult. He also said that a relationship should be more fun and not so stressful. Apparently this call was too stressful?

I don’t know, he acted like my request to communicate more was somehow unreasonable? But I don’t think I want too much! I just want him to tell me more about his life, want to be at least a little bit of a part of his life? Just that he writes me a few sentences about his day a few times a week. Not even every day, not a whole essay or something. How long can that take? Five or ten minutes? Maybe sometimes a call and sometimes seeing him.

It doesn’t seem to me like I asked for too much! More like I asked for too little.

It appeared that he was truly upset. But over the phone, who can tell? I felt worse after the call. Asked myself: “Did I want too much?” “Did I ruin everything?” I felt more guilty. But I can’t see how this would have possibly progressed. without talking to each other, why even be in a relationship? It’s probably better to end it.

Sorry, I know you already told me that it wouldn’t work out. But I guess I didn’t want to give up. I guess I will get over it. i already didn’t have high expectations.

I also will reply to your previous post another time.