Shelby,

I agree. Because I am rubbish at decision making all together I want to ensure that IF I make a decision, it is an educated one and the best one for me. I haven’t come to that conclusion yet, despite everything that has happened I have a glimmer of hope. And that tiny glimmer is what’s holding me back.

I also agree that your ex is an idiot and he really doesn’t realise just what he has walked away from. It is only a matter of time before he wants ‘more’ and it’ll hit him right in the face then. That he actually had it all with you but chose to let you go.

Michelle – going back to decision making. When me and my ex first split it was his decision and therefore made it a whole load easier for me to come to the conclusion that it is completely out of my hands. You cannot make someone love or want you, I knew that and therefore I also knew that the only way forward for me was away from him, there was no choice to make as there was only one choice. The dynamic changed when he came crawling back begging for another chance and pulling at my heart strings which were and are still very much all about him.

My journey isn’t making much sense right now. The cycle of pain that I seem to keep putting myself through is not making any sense. What rational person would do this to themselves? I hope one day I am able to look back on this and laugh just as you are.