Kkasxo,

Do you both understand that issues have yet to be dealt with? If the issues were there in the past, even with the best will in the world, they will continue to arise in the future. I don’t think that even though there are f ups, that a relationship can’t work. If they are worked on.

When I reunited with my ex the first time a couple of years ago, I set about the plan of just enjoying each other’s company, a clean slate and start fresh. But the issues emerged again. There was a reason we broke up the first time and it was more or less the reason we broke up the second time. I tried to be okay with what was on offer, at first and when I couldn’t contain my own needs to move forward, I changed my mindset to one where I thought he would change. Work was never done on his part, so it made sense that it didn’t work out again.

You’re not ready to let go yet. You don’t want to. Even if you think it’s what’s best for you, you still don’t want to let go. So work with what you’ve got. I know it’s not a nice feeling to feel taken for granted, believe me I know, so I think maybe that requires a conversation. Are there other areas ye need to discuss also so that when ye actually do move forward, ye can do so a bit more progressively. Don’t worry about being embarrassed – I’m embarrassed too, but the heart doesn’t care about embarrassment, it just wants what it wants, at time whatever the cost. Worrying about the embarrassment will only add extra suffering you don’t need right now, so let that one go, shrug your shoulders and instead of berating yourself, say ‘it is what it is’, whenever you think it’s embarrassing.