Dear Bakedbean:

Well, if he is emotionally unavailable, and this  is what he told you, then he is not available for a relationship with you, and the question of his emotional maturity is mute in this context, isn’t it.

You wrote that he feels unloved by his mother. A child feeling unloved by his mother is a very powerful experience, leading to serious consequences lifetime. Who knows, maybe his health problems are partly at least such a consequence.

You wrote: “I believe in love  and its healing powers”- yes, love heals.  Sometimes that healing is  not enough and  a person is lost in sickness, the sickness has taken hold for  too long.

anita