As someone who’s never even had a serious relationship, I just thought it was a matter of interest: if there’s a connection/interest, you pursue it. If not, then you drop it.  That’s why it was so confusing because I know there was an interest. I also thought a year was enough time and that he was dating, it showed he was ready.

Yeah, once you’ve had a heartbreak or two, especially a devastating one, it tends to complicate things so that it’s not quite as easy as whether you feel interested or not. I’ve passed on some really great guys in the past because I just wasn’t ready to let myself take that risk yet. Sometimes you feel like you’re ready and you really want to be with someone, and then once you start to develop stronger feelings, it’s like whoooaaa, nope, not ready. haha. So when he said it wasn’t you, definitely believe him. I really think it’s just him still trying to deal with what happened, and there’s never a time limit for that. And it’s also good that this happened NOW rather than you two getting into a committed relationship for years and then him freaking out when it’s time to make a bigger commitment (like moving in or marriage) and him leaving THEN, even though you still love each other. That can definitely happen, too (there are some people that are comfortable with a relationship level of commitment but moving toward any deeper commitment than that causes them to run).

I hope this trip that he is on allows him some alone time to do some thinking. Sometimes that’s all people need to calm down and get things back into perspective. Otherwise, I think you have a good plan, and it sounds like you’ve got a really good head on your shoulders. When you’re single, taking the time to focus on you and your own happiness for a while is always a great thing to do!