She is a little over a year older than me. While we have half-siblings, they are basically not a part of our life. We grew up close to our cousins but at one point, we stopped being so close. So basically, it was always my sister and I.

I know my parents treated me better. I do not know why. I think it is because I always did well in school and seemed to succeed in my career more than she. It still does not excuse anything. I think my sister also noticed that I got along well with my parents and my mother showed me more affection because I treated my mother with more respect and kindness than my sister.

At family events, after we all hit a certain age, my sister would always hog my cousins from me. Making me feel like I was always the one to be left out. I have acknowledged that I am more awkward than my sister and more emotional than she. And she has always pointed that out. I know she will tell me that I am awkward, socially inept to hurt me and not to help me. Even though my sister tends to do well socially, I always had more close friends than her. I was always doing stuff while she preferred to stay home or hang out with her boyfriends (nothing wrong with that but even being awkward, I make the most out of life).

Being the young sibling, my sister always picked on me. Put me down. Treated me like I was inferior. Even in high school she acted like I did not exist in the beginning. My sister points out that I have lost friends because I am a mean person. I have lost boyfriends because of this and that. And I have shot back at her many times when we got into fights. My sister always had to be right, so the moment I learned to stand up for myself, the more she learned to hurt my self-esteem.

But there were many more good times we shared. It is difficult. At the end of the day, even if people believe me to be in the wrong, I am tried to fix this. And she stuck up her nose and told me she wanted us to spend time apart. On one hand, it is reasonable for her to want everyone to cool down, but on the other hand, it is her way of continuing to hurt me by pushing me out of her life. And call me the bad person. I do not think there is any solution other than time at this point.