Interesting night.  BF asked if I wanted to go have a couple drinks with him and his friend down the street and I denied, said he wouldn’t be too long.  Long story short, I texted a few hours later and he said they were just hanging and then I fell asleep.  BF comes home very drunk around 12:45 when I wake up.  Initially I was mad because there was no contact letting me know when he was coming home or if he was okay.  I have no problem with him going out with buddies, we spend 90% of our free time together, him getting out without me is very important and beneficial to our relationship.   I also don’t mind if he was drinking, as long as he wasn’t driving, which he wasn’t.  I have done my fair share of drinking so I can’t be hypocritical.  This is also the first time he has gone out with a buddy in a long time.  I confronted him saying “where were you”, “why didn’t you text”, which I should not have done when he was drinking because it was useless and he was just mumbling.  I found myself overcome with emotion, saying things like “you never talk to me” and  “this is bull****.”  I realized those words were coming from a place of hurt not related to him going out with his friend, but due to my feelings of neglect and frustration.  I realized this and laid down but struggled to sleep.  I will talk to him about the importance of just checking in with me, especially when it’s late but I am not his mother.  I noticed too that I have been taking on the ‘wife’ role, when I am not his wife.  Cleaning for him, laundry, etc.  I like to do these things but I need to pull back a bit, as we are not married, and I don’t feel I am being treated as a wife – but a girlfriend – which is where we are at right now.  Anyways, I think when we talk later today I will be able to open up more, as our arguments always end in deeper understanding of one another.  Too add, my behavior was exactly how my ex-husband treated me when I went out.  Guilt tripping, 1,000 questions.  It was miserable.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by AnxiousAsUsual.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by AnxiousAsUsual.