They have been in contact for years now and we have visited him together.  His mother and father do not really communicate.  However, I can tell that after visiting his father he has a lot to talk about and some frustrations.  They have gone on recent trips together, etc, but there is definitely some lingering tension.  I am hoping he continues to open up about these things with me.

We did talk yesterday and I wasn’t able to talk about everything I needed to, but I could also feel him feeling somewhat defeated so I stopped.  I didn’t bring up with ED, I feel like he needs some more time, that’s the energy I felt anyways.  I talked about how I would like him to call if he is out that late, talked about some boundaries with drinking that I think are fair (and he agreed), spoke about my anxiety and how it can make me paranoid, and inquired if he felt he was not brought up in a home that openly discussed emotions.  He agreed that his family did not talk about their emotions and I explained that my did.  I am very emotional and he is at the other end of the spectrum, and I talked about us trying to meet in the middle so that we can communicate better.  He nodded and smiled throughout, but it looked like he felt he was ‘getting in trouble’, and it made me very sad.  I did my best to stay calm and I also owned my part and pointed out how my anxiety negatively affects us.  He said he agreed with everything I was discussing and stated that he didn’t have anything to add.  I woke up feeling kind of sad today.  I started to hyperfocus on the sex stuff this morning, but slowly bringing myself back to calm.