Dear Linda:

Be as calm as you can be when you say goodbye to your father, smile at him, tell him you love him and always remember him, hold his hand tight, kiss him and let it be okay to shed some tears, if they happen. If they don’t happen, that is okay too. Try to not  pay attention to who else is there, make it a special moment between you and your father.

“I just hope that I can be happy again, one day”, you wrote.

The word happy makes me think of the ending of children’s books, “and they lived happily ever after”.

I learned that there is no such thing. If I can feel joy today at this moment or at another moment later on, that is good enough for me. There is no happily-ever-after, that is a make belief children hold on to so to grow up in a world that is not so inviting, because of all the aggression in it, all the trouble.

As you say goodbye to your father, maybe make a decision to do the best with what is left of your life. After all, life is finite for all of  us, we all end up dead. Cherish any moment of calm that you can experience, any moment of love that you feel, and joy.

I hope to read from you again, perhaps after tomorrow.

anita