Hi Anita,

Yes, thankfully I am persevering and made a sensible decision which I am so glad I made. These last two nights have been great. I have had so much peace to just sit and think about all that has happened to me. I am still sad, and hurt, and anxious but am ambitious for the future. I have many ideas on where to go next in my life. But as soon as  I think of them fear follows like a leach. I get excited when I feel confident about something as soon it turns to fear and doubt. I sometimes fear if I don’t make some type of move now then I will be at this standstill forever or just stay where I am at. I don’t want to leave my aunts so soon because I would like to save and invest. I think investing would be the best way for me to go. I lost 5 year in my relationship with nothing to show for financially and I want to secure something in my life. But I also do not want to continue somewhere I cannot tolerate. I definitely think the break I had from my aunt was needed and has helped with my feelings toward her. But I also think being alone brung me a sense of calmness. I think since I have arrived in Chicago after my break up I have lived a life of not knowing what was next. I have been living everyone else’s life. I miss my Florida life and I wonder if I should think of going back there? I have my job there. To invest would be half as expensive. I fear being away from my family but also know that I have learned we are truly alone in this world. Family will always be there when you need them but If i live my life here in Chicago where everyone always needs something will I ever live the life I want for myself?