I am trying so hard to move on with my life but I think about him all day everyday, I ache, I have things that I want to share with him but can’t. I tell myself he needs to be with his children, I understand that and have never asked him to leave them for me. I don’t see how he can love his wife, he was unhappy prior to her finding out about us. I have so much going on with what happened to me in December and this involves my job, my life,  so it’s very difficult to focus on anything else.

I know now I have done this to myself, I feel like I am being punished because of what I have done. But I’m struggling to get by each day.

Mags,

I’m not sure what you are looking for here.  You are suffering because of a situation that you two created.  The wife and children are suffering as well.

You are struggling in dealing with the change.  Remember that everything is temporary so this too shall pass.  I find that tending to my needs helps.  Meditating on my pain helps, i.e. being with it helps me to get through it.

It does not serve you in moving on by guessing what his wife thinks and does or what he is doing.  Focus on you.  Focus on caring for yourself.  And perhaps when you feel more resourceful, figure out how you helped co-create this suffering.  This is taking responsibility and an understanding on how not to repeat the same mistake.

Make sense?

Mark