Honestly, I think even if you did contact him then at this point you’d realise what a different person he was in reality to the one you have in your head. Which is probably another reason you aren’t getting in touch with him I would suspect.

I really don’t think you can talk yourself into believing it’s over. You can decide it is – but that you are unwilling to do as yet. You can have the cold reality shock of him not wanting to try again/do anything different to previous/dating someone else, which gives you no choice but to accept it. You have no faith in a better future, which is understandable but is an area you can work on. Seriously, try it for just a week, literally re-directing your thoughts and focusing on now, the present, on something that improves your life with zero link to a romantic relationship – what’ve you got to lose eh….stop poking that bruise for a bit…

And ha, sorry, not laughing at you but with you as remembering all too well having to do the letting down gently thing after getting myself into a similar situation, all be it through all my own doing. The only way I can do these things is an open and honest “I’m just not ready for this”. Good luck & next time don’t get talked into things just to please people…. 😉

PS – All great here, I’m irritatingly happy and excited about the trip – 6 days to go!