I don’t know whether I’m right or wrong about this, but it sounds like your husband was going through some sort of a crisis episode or maybe depressive or anxiety given how he reacted. He did something similar to what my ex did, who I’m sure was going through a depressive/anxiety episode at the time. Nothing in his life seemed right and he was unhappy with everything… his job, his lack of accomplishments, just where he was at in general and nothing was making him happy, and I’ve read that the romantic relationship is the first thing to suffer in those cases. They are already looking for happiness from external sources rather than within themselves, which is the main problem… and then, when someone else comes along that is new and gives them a different sort of attention than you do that feels different and good… they start thinking their relationship is the main cause of their unhappiness in general and start longing for that something different… Grass is Greener Syndrome, if you will. The next connection makes them happier at first because it’s new and fun and all honeymoon stage so of course it seems better than what they currently have…. until the honeymoon wears off. This is also probably why your husband is not wanting to work to remedy things, though… new connections, as superficial as they may be, FEEL good…. and if he’s been unhappy in general for a long time and he found something that is making him feel really good… he’s not going to care so much about fixing things. This is also how people get addicted to other things that feel good… it just means he has something about himself that he needs to figure out and fix but instead of using that, he’s distracting himself with whatever feels good.

My ex even did the same thing your ex did… came back a few weeks later, telling me how unhappy he was and how he didn’t know what was wrong with him and I deserved better, that he felt like he was so unhappy with his life and didn’t know how to be happy and felt like he was dragging me down with him, etc. Then after all of that, seemingly continued to move on with the other girl anyway.

I don’t really have much helpful advice in this other than to say you’re not alone. This kind of thing happens to a lot of us, unfortunately, and I’ve learned that in future relationships, I need to be careful to notice the signs of when this is starting and hopefully get my boyfriend/husband to get some help. Perhaps that’s a lesson you can take from it, too. Also, I will be sure that whoever I end up with knows that happiness comes from INSIDE and NOT from external sources.

None of us can say whether your husband will come back or not once the honeymoon wears off. I would suggest, like Mark said, that you take this time to work on yourself. Any free time you have, do some of the things you’ve always wanted to do for yourself. Learn new things, read a lot, etc. Date when you’re ready (but don’t feel pressured to… it’s okay to NOT date, too). Try to allow yourself to accept this as your reality and don’t have expectations that you will get back together, especially in any sort of time frame, but it’s okay to have hope. And I hope your husband gets some therapy, too.