Dear Giovanni:

You are welcome and thank you for your kind words, I appreciate them very much.

She repeatedly told you that she wants to be with you forever, and you wrote, “She told my family and I repeatedly that she wanted to marry me”. After she broke up with you, you concluded: “So she was either lying to herself or to me”. I don’t think she lied to herself or to you. I think she probably meant it, that she did want to be with you forever and she did want to marry you.

Let’s distinguish between an emotion and a promise, the two are different. A promise to be with a person forever requires more than emotion. It can be done even without emotion. A person may make a promise under the influence of emotion, without thinking into the future.

She told you and your family what she said while she was in junior high school and in high school. Most often, a girl this age is too young to make thoughtful lifetime decisions. She is more likely to feel and express than to think and analyze and look at five years ahead or ten years.

I think she expressed an emotion and you thought she was making a promise. What do you think?

anita