Dear Elizabeth:

I re-read all your posts slowly and patiently. I didn’t re-read my own or others’ posts. With the exception of you being so hard on yourself in your most recent post (and previous indication or two that you are taking more responsibility than you own regarding his choices), you read like perhaps the most  reasonable, sensible, insightful and a fair, open minded thinker that I came across in a long time.

I suppose you didn’t need anyone else’s analysis of what happened, you already analyzed enough and see all the possibilities about what motivated him. You also realize that neither you nor anyone else can tell what is going on in his mind and heart, definitely not in the last 2.5 months since you last spoke to him.

My input today (and I have no idea if you will be reading this): what is clear to me is that you waiting for him is unhealthy for you. I think that the longer you wait for him, as you do now, the worse it is for you.

it is most important that you contact him as soon as possible and ask him to attend a  counseling session with you, not for the purpose of getting back together, but for the purpose of you understanding what happened and what is happening. I think he owes you that. You need the information from him because what you do understand currently is simply not enough, not adequate. With information from him, in the regulated situation in a quality counseling session or sessions, you can figure out what to do next.

anita