Dear grounded:

Earlier in the month you wrote: “I don’t feel strong enough to see him and know that he doesn’t want me/ can’t be with me so I have not been attending  group events”.

Last communication with him, if I remember correctly,  you expressed to him that you want an exclusive relationship with him. He was on dating sites at the time. Later he told you that he deleted the dating sites but didn’t explain further, didn’t tell you so far that he is no longer dating or that he is interested in resuming an exclusive relationship with you.

I think it is reasonable to  assume that nothing has changed, he is still not interested in what you are interested. Because you already accepted his birthday party invitation, what I would do if I was you, is to not spend any alone time with him before or after the birthday party (last time this happened was around new year, I think).

It will hurt you if you once again become physically intimate with him not in the context of an acknowledged and established exclusive relationship with him.

So let’s say you attend the party and everyone gives him a hug or a kiss on the cheek (whatever the custom)- do the same in front of the group of friends, but no physical contact with him outside the group, no alone time, is my suggestion.

Regarding  wishing him a happy birthday Thursday via text, I wouldn’t attach any question to the text, just wish him happy birthday, that is all.

I hope to read from you again, any updates or if you need to express more of your thoughts and feelings.

anita