Definitely talk to him about your concerns but do it in person rather than through text. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that serious conversations like that should be avoided through text because it’s hard to convey tone. At the very least, talk to him over the phone if you decide not to see him in person, but I think your concerns are valid otherwise. Does it say when he signed up for the site? Is it possible he did it shortly after you two broke up as sort of a rebound, “getting back out there,” type of thing or has he been active on it recently?

Dear grounded:

I think you did a good job, being  honest and assertive with him. I hope to read an update from you soon.

anita

Dear grounded:

Best is for you to do nothing at this point. Give him the time to “sleep on it and think about it”. After all, it is not that you are in a hurry, in practical terms. You don’t have to say yes or no to another guy and have to hurry this one to make his decision.

It is just the  anxiety that is rushing you.

Try to relax. If you are unable to relax,  I guess blocking him will give you a temporary calm, so you don’t have to be  in a waiting mode anymore. But it will only be  temporary.

If you can, accept the possibility that he says a No, so that you are not waiting so anxiously. Accept the possibility that he doesn’t get back to you at all. That will be his silent No.

anita

Dear Anna:

No, I don’t think it is a good idea, it reads almost like begging him and I would like to think that.. you think that it is beneath you to beg, or plead.

I understand that you feel a strong attachment to him, but I would like you to be stronger than that attachment and not  let it take over  you.

Notice that you wrote in your original post: “We broke up because we were not happy.. He  didn’t have a job, his self esteem was taking  a hit… I wasn’t happy because  I was  not getting my needs met”- what is the point of.. pleading  for more of that?

There is a saying, “the  heart wants what the heart  wants”.  The heart  always  wants  the same thing: to love and  be loved  in return. Sometimes we incorrectly think that  it must  be this one man and no other, even when it didn’t work out  in the past, even when it is unlikely to work  out again.  We hold on to the good memories and  forget  all the  bad memories. We don’t  think correctly,  we  don’t  remember correctly.

Give   up on  him, stop waiting  for him, is my  suggestion. Aim at to-love-and-be-loved elsewhere. If love relationships  didn’t work  for  you in the past, before this man, and you are  losing hope, don’t despair. Learn  from the past and approach the future in different ways that  are  much more  likely to bring to you the love that you need. I will be glad to explore such ways with you if you are interested, when you are interested. Let me know.

anita

Every fiber of your being might want to contact him right now and it might feel wrong if you don’t, but I still wouldn’t. I agree with what the others have said. You two really haven’t been broken up all that long, and you’d said you weren’t happy. Has anything really changed in that short amount of time? If the things that broke you up haven’t been fixed yet, they will eventually break you again, so it’s super, super important that you two have both fixed your issues first so that if you DO get back together, you won’t have the same problems.