Dear Ella,

Addiction to anything is never an easy room that you can just open the door and leave. But that you want to leave means that you feel that it’s no longer serving you. It’s time to move forward.

The beginning of any new development will be very difficult. You are stepping into new territory and that is terrifying because you don’t know what can or might happen. You have a goal, but that doesn’t make it easy to take one step further to fulfilling it. There will be hours of pain, there will be hours of suffering. The suffering will make you question yourself, it will make you want to quit what you’ve just started. You’ll feel defeated before you’ve even seen the summit of your victory. You’ll struggle because change take long hours of thinking and doing.

But in all of that, remember the reason why you wanted to do so in the first. Remember that you change because you wish to change. And change is done for the sake of yourself, not anyone else.

Your boyfriend might not see the need to change for himself, but if he really does have your best interest at heart, then he will give you his full support. You’ve enter into a relationship because you have affection for him and he you, right? And since the beginning, you’ve supported each other in various ways, right? So this shouldn’t be any different because you are asking for his support regarding something that is important to you. This is important to you. But in the event of him actually desecrating your effort for something that you genuinely want for yourself, is he then really worth your affection when he cannot give you the emotional support you need?

Even then, change is a process that a person goes through alone. Change is the perception of self evolving into something different from what you’ve known of yourself. It is done inwardly then brought out to reality. No one can change for you, you are the one in charge of your evolution. So get comfortable to being uncomfortable. Change is not a bike ride in the park, it’s a roller coaster that goes up and down, sideway with many bumps, sometimes stalling then speeding a hundred miles per hour. Change is not easy, growth is not easy. But you decided for yourself that this is important to you so gather the courage to move forward. There will be days of struggles, but there will also be days of success because regardless of how many times you’ve given up, you haven’t truly given up. You continue trudging up the mountain, one step at a time, because you are doing this for yourself. Because you yourself is enough of a reason.

Good luck.