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Reply To: What should I do?

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#281579
Valora
Participant

Do you know much about this man’s history or what could maybe have lead him to thinking the man had a bomb? Sometimes thinking that seems irrational to others can have somewhat of a rational cause for the person doing the thinking. He might have went through something that developed a fear or may have been convinced to fear it by someone else’s persuasion.

I can identify with this man as I also don’t like change and I used to like to have control of things in my immediate surroundings because I highly valued comfort. I also have a mother who is very paranoid about the happenings of the world and very, very overprotective. At one point, she made me afraid to walk two houses down to my sister’s house at 7:00 at night because it was dark and something might happen to me. I later realized that, yes, this was irrational thinking and that the chances of something happening to me walking a short distance in my very small town were slim, but at the time, her fears also made me afraid. I’m telling you this because I do not consider my thoughts on that a mental illness. My mom had just convinced me that her fears were more probable than they actually were. The same could be true for the man you’re seeing. Something had convinced him that his fear was probable.

In my opinion, mental illness is not something to fear, especially in this possible instance. I think it’s safe to say almost everyone has irrational thoughts from time to time, just for different things. I would think it a good thing that he felt comfortable enough to share one of his with you, even though he later may have realized that it probably wasn’t true. If that’s he seems paranoid about things regularly, then it would likely benefit him to see a counselor (and that would be beneficial for his control issues and social awkwardness, too).

Now… if he showed signs of a more serious disorder that could be potentially harmful (like if you found signs he was MAKING a bomb, for instance), then that would be cause to not pursue the relationship.