Hey all,

Kkasxo – glad you didn’t mind being my helpful guinea-pig example and if it helped at all, even better. Sometimes boiling things done to the simplest level helps take the fear and confusion out of everything. And if nothing else, just thinking about step one and not even worrying about the next steps until you’ve managed to make some headway on that one helps avoid getting panicky about trying to solve everything at once and just deal with one thing at a time, if that makes any sense at all.

Shelby – well, me for one you don’t have to worry about disappointing or that I think you aren’t smart enough etc and I apologise if I have given that impression, not intended at all. Besides, remember – it really doesn’t matter what any of us of anybody else thinks – this is your life and you are as worthy of enjoying it as best you can as anyone. A meaningful life is whatever is meaningful to you – it doesn’t have to be about solving world peace, adopting a hundred orphans and saving a few species from extinction in your spare time – it’s whatever you end up deeming meaningful. Took me a while to learn that ( and to be honest, I am still learning it) and I would be very envious of people like Kkasxo with such clear and known dreams to work towards – so much simpler than my random brain! So never ever think your life does not count as important as anyone elses or that everyone else is so much better at ‘life’ – everyone of us is bumbling around finding our own way through, trust me!!   All advice is offered freely and can be ignored or used as you deem fit. You are doing your best to be open and considering it – that is further than a lot of people get..

You mentioned a couple of interesting things in your last post I’d be curious to hear more about, if you don’t mind sharing. What other good things were taken from you? Is it related to why you previously didn’t open your heart to romance?  Do you think there’s a possibility you may have chosen your ex because you subconsciously knew he wasn’t so emotionally available – as it could mean less opening up required on your part?  There are all kinds of relationships that work that don’t meet what would be considered ‘normal’ by most but give both partners what they want. I have friends who live apart from their husband most of the year but are as happy and committed to the relationship as those who are together 24/7. It’s whatever works – so long as it works for both of you.  My understanding is that what he is prepared to offer as a relationship is not enough for you. Yes, it is hard to choose to let something go – but if you can’t imagine being happy in ten years time with the same situation – then is it really a choice for you?

Take care all.