Hi Michelle,

Ah that sounds so lovely! What I would do to be out and exploring the world far away from here right now! I bet it is an amazing experience! Please keep us updated, I love reading about it.

Yes the trauma weekend was tough but I suppose in a way it was the first and last major hurdle on this journey so there is a small sense of relief there.. perhaps next time it won’t be so bad?

My emotional and mental state have been at an all time low since, not that it’s been any better for a long time but this period has been particularly tough taking a complete toll on my physical health also. I’m struggling with sleep and basic things like even finding the will to bathe myself etc but I’m trying to keep on keeping on to the best of my ability. My therapist has been great throughout, gentle but at the same time helping me explore bits and pieces of this tough period so I am grateful for that. I have also splurted my struggle out to my family now (finally) and they are being a little more gentle with me now giving me the space that I so badly need so again, grateful for that!

I’m living in what I like to call autopilot mode at the moment but i suppose in a sense it is allowing me the calmness, time and peace to come together with my thoughts and really begin trying to understand myself again so I guess I’m just trying to go with it right now.