Thanks Inky – you hit the nail on the head about being the “chosen one” or being “the only one” which is so true because that desire to WIN even when the prize is crap, is still there. Anita mentioned being driven by emotions and that, along with what you say, makes sense.

And i take massive comfort in the fact he is already conscious of his receding hairline and expanding gut! I am not quite sure what it is that ‘hooks’ girls in as he is not clever with his deceit. His POF is there – bold as brass – there is no denying his gf’s friends could stumble across it. He doesnt have a super smooth personality, i actually dont know really what it is i really saw in him !   Is there any scenarios you know of you would be willing to share? I would feel relief in knowing others have been through this – warped as that sounds..