Dear ElliR:

Her behavior stays the same even though she says she understands because she doesn’t understand.

There is no point in you trying to explain it to her again and again. You need to understand… that she doesn’t understand: she can’t or  won’t understand you. Give up on trying to make her understand anything at all. Focus on your life, look for people outside your home who do understand, who can and will understand.

It is similar to this: a person is living in a desert, under the hot sun, no rain, nothing grows, all is sand that keeps blowing in the hot wind. The person is frustrated and screams into the emptiness of the desert: I want rain! I want grass to grow and water to flow!

And she stand there in the desert, day after day, year after year, repeating to no  one: I want rain! I want grass to grow…!

Better start walking away from where you are, elsewhere, look and you will find what you need over there.

anita