Yes anita. I just read it. Think we were typing around the same time. Yes, that clears up a lot of questions in my head. Thanks for your responses.

I hope I can shake off this reflective phase & be the carefree person I used to be. I have been going crazy for last 2 years after the SIL incident happened & been studying & analyzing lot of these family cultural customs & comparing them with my values in my head. Must say it helped a bit, but was also like a marshy land where the more you try to get out of it, the more it pulls you in. Guess I am stuck in a family where the set of expectations & values are vastly different on both sides, but my husband is a gem . So, live & stick out for him.