Hi Anita…

Interesting development, your former friend leaving the man. You did predict it. Are you in contact with him now… or with her, if you’d like to share. I don’t have to know…

I’d be glad to share it with you. The first I knew about my former friend discarding the man I was tentatively courting was when the man (I’ll call him A.) sent me a text message, after 2.5 years of silence, to say that he had been abandoned. Yes I thought this would happen. In fact I had a dream about how it would turn out, if you would be interested to know about that.

My former friend (B) had done this in two previous relationships and left without a word of explanation. None at all.

However, she had bumped into her previous ex bf and left A. four days later. Her previous ex phoned and asked me if I had heard from B, as she had told him that A. was mistreating her, that he was cruel, all kinds of lies. I told her ex. these were the same lies she had told A. about him. He asked if I was still in touch, whether I would get in touch, he was worried about her. I told him it was all lies. I told him I had no intention of ever getting in touch with her again. I had known A. for over 12 months when she decided she was going to have him, although I had only been courting him in a tentative sort of a way, and had not committed to a relationship as I wasn’t sure he was ready for one. He had always been a really kind and generous man.

A. wouldn’t have even known she was actually leaving him for good the day she walked out of the door. Except he had stopped her on the way out and asked where she was going. As she wouldn’t take the car or let him drive her, but insisted on taking a taxi, he knew that she wasn’t going to come back, and when he asked her exactly that, she admitted that she wasn’t going to come back. He had kept her from the day she had moved into his house 2.5 years ago until a few weeks ago when she just ….walked. Telling the same old tales of cruelty and hardship.

I told A. what her ex had said about him on the phone and he was shocked. But, I said, you believed it of her ex. Even though I told you that her ex wasn’t the person she had made him out to be.

All I can assume is that B. has gone back to her ex, as he is willing to have her back at any price, and that includes keeping her housed, clothed and fed, and obeying her every command without question.

I told A. this over several emails, as he couldn’t believe that she would do such a thing to him. I feel very sorry for A. He is so hurt and betrayed by her discard. He looked after his second wife for five years as she slowly died from Motor Neurone Disease. B. knew all about that, because I had told her when I was courting him. It didn’t make any difference when she decided to discard him. She used him for what she could get and left without a backward glance.

I don’t know how people can do that to someone else.

We have been exchanging emails as I wanted to help him through it a bit, even though he also discarded me when he took up with B. She had insisted on no contact with me, probably because I would have told him the truth and she couldn’t risk that. Although I owed A nothing, I just tried to help him understand that there are people like that in the world….

• This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by JayJay.