Dear Sophia:

You wrote about your son’s biological father: “he was a good dad to his 3 oldest boys.. but he’s a s*&* dad to my one year old son”-

-it is very unlikely that he was or is a good father to his other three boys, not from what you shared about him. It may seem like he was, maybe he bought them presents here and there but that doesn’t mean he was a “good dad”. His abuse of you, his irresponsibility, his dishonesty.. these do not indicate a person who is a good father.

I would recommend to no longer encourage him to be in your son’s life- why encourage a bad person to be in your innocent, vulnerable child’s life? – better for your son’s well being to not have this man in his life.

“how do I get over him?”- see him the way he is, really look at him, at his character, or lack of, see him the way he is, not the way you wish he was.

What do you think?

anita