Im sorry for this long story but I dont know where else to turn. ok so here it is. I met my sons dad in 2016 and for the first couple of months everything was good. after a couple of months he started treating me real bad. he talks to me like I’m beneath him and like I don’t matter but in the same breath a year before I was actually pregnant by him he was asking me for a baby (hoping for a girl because he had 3 boys 0 girls). I told him I think we should wait because I didn’t wanna have another baby by another man and eventually break up (I want a family). so he basically told me hes gonna get me pregnant no matter what I say. so I started tracking my ovulation dates using this app to make sure I avoid having any sexual contact with him around that time (he didn’t know and he still dont). but anyway after a year of us being we broke up for 5 months, I missed him so I contacted him via fb messenger hoping he missed me too. he was happy I hit him up, he said he missed me too and he came and saw me the next day. we got back together and had sex. I know longer had the app after we broke up for those 5 months. so I had no idea I was gonna pop up pregnant that next month but I did. when I was 2 months pregnant we got into this big argument via text and we both said some horrible things to one another. so after that big argument I haven’t heard from him the rest of my pregnancy. I gave birth without him but found out when my son was 6 weeks old that the reason I haven’t heard from his dad in all those months was because he was incarcerated since I was 3 months pregnant (a month after our big argument). I immediately contacted him in jail. I sent him pics of the baby and a letter telling him what I named our son and his weight at birth and what was currently going on with him. he kept in contact but when he was tryna get back with me I’m like nah lets just co parent. but as the months passed he persuaded me to wanna be with him. I want a family and I love him so much so I told him when he comes home we can try again. we kept in contact. he came home 2 months ago (in January) and a week after his release he came and saw his son for the first (11 months at the time) and we got back together. our relationship only lasted about a week and a half. he was doing too much so I left again. since then he haven’t been active in my sons life. he missed his first bday party on purpose and he came the next day on my sons actual bday mad late and only spent a few minutes with him before leaving (that was January 27th). he haven’t seen my son since or attempted to. I been chasing him doing off the wall things to get him to be apart of his sons life but nothing is working. his mind state is I don’t need to tell him to see his son and hes not gonna see him until I stop hounding him about it but that isn’t gonna work for me. hes not gonna see my son when he feel like he wants to see him. so if he hits 2 months without seeing him when he finally tries I’m gonna let him see him when I feel like letting him. my sons dad completely shattered my heart. he was a good dad to his 3 oldest boys which is 17, 17 and 15 but hes a shitty dad to my one year  old son. he haven’t even met his older brothers and tbh I think my son is his little secret. he says people knows about my son but I don’t think so. I think only his sis knows. and after all hes done to me I still love him so much. to the point I made a fake fb page to look on his page since his page is public but recently I saw something that bothered me. keep in mind that I’m 30 my sons dad is 42. I looked on his page around 2 am and this 18 year old girl was on his post I guess you can call it arguing with him. through her comments it was clear my sons dad had sex with her then started ignoring her. after seeing this I was hurt and at the same time disgusted because shes a young girl but she looks older and I’m sure my bd didn’t bother to check her age on fb. I just want to know how can I get over him? I know I’m a queen and I know what I deserve. I’m really a good woman but you cant help who you fall in love with. I love him so much but I never really expressed to him that I love him only because the way he treats me I know that he don’t feel the same and it will only fall on deaf ears. but even though I never told him I loved him aside from one time, I show him I love him through my actions. what can I do to get over him. I’m so broken and all I do is stalk his fb and think about him all day. any advice? sorry for the long story .