Christine,

It seems like you are going “above and beyond” to accommodate your boyfriend with his house and your relationship.  That seems unbalanced to me.  I suspect sooner or later this will be an issue with your relationship, especially if you decide to move in together and/or get married.

You already have experienced his negative habits and lifestyle, i.e. his “gross” living/messy lifestyle, his heavy drinking, his heavy pot smoking, his heavy tobacco chewing and smoking habits.

Personally, I would not want to expose my child to such an influence.

Romantically, I would seriously look at my own “bottom line” values and behavior boundaries to be involved with such a partner.  My own core values include non-addictive lifestyle for that points to bigger and long term personal issues that (I believe) need to be resolved BEFORE having a healthy romantic relationship.

Make sense?

Mark