Dear GL,

The reason why my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend has been brought up is because I knew her and I knew of my boyfriend when they were still in a relationship, so I heard about the whole cheating scandal from friends before I even met him. His ex-girlfriend went on a spring break trip and slept with someone else and never told him, and he ended up having to find out about it months later from someone else. She also treated him poorly in general and walked all over him, so I would never want to be anything like that. When we first started dating, we would talk about our pasts, and when his ex-girlfriend would get brought up, he’d refer to her as “the whore,” which definitely bothered me because it made me feel like he wasn’t completely over her. Therefore, I would get jealous and bring her up sometimes, which has caused some issues in our relationship. Also, whenever music by the rapper Drake is on, he says “f*ck Drake,” and I learned earlier on in the relationship that he doesn’t like Drake because the guy his ex slept with was obsessed with him. He doesn’t say it often, but when he does, it makes me feel insecure because it seems like he’s still stuck on the past when he claims he isn’t. My boyfriend and I started dating about 6 months after his breakup with his ex, so I don’t think he had enough time to heal, which has caused issues in our relationship due to me being insecure over his ex. It worries me that I kissed his friend’s ear on NYE due to feeling insecure in the relationship, which is not entirely his fault. I think these are things I need to work through and talk about in therapy. I need to find the root cause of why my reaction was so extreme to something so little. I had plans to move closer to my boyfriend, but I think it needs to be put on hold until I resolve what I am going through. I really hope my future plans with my boyfriend aren’t ruined and that we make it through this because I don’t want to end up with anyone else. From the beginning, I felt something different and knew he was the one, so I’m very confused by my feelings at the moment. I just want my passionate feelings for him to come back.

Christina