Hi Sarah,

I haven’t read the other replies so apologies if this has been covered but, the most important thing for you is to establish healthy boundaries and work on the relationship you have with yourself. Self-love, all the way.

The relationship you have with yourself, sets the tone for every relationship you have.

The thing with boundaries, is that they stem from a place of self-worth and how we inately value ourselves. Having strong boundaries doesn’t mean that you’re being selfish, it simply means you’re respecting and honouring yourself.

You mentioned that you want to please others and not hurt their feelings. I wonder if this stems from a belief you formed as a child, that you weren’t good enough and therefore had to appease those around you in order to get validation that you WERE enough?

Guess what? You’ve always been enough and you always will be. It’s time you start believing that.

There’s also an energetic component. You seem to be highly sensitive and take on the feelings of those around you (energetically) via your Empathic nature.

It’s a wonderful gift… But it can be an enormous burden to the person who hasn’t yet developed emotional dicernment.

The problem is, you pick up on an emotion then immediately identify with it, then make it yours “Oh, I feel sad… Why is this? Oh it’s because of xyz…” When in actual fact, that emotion wasn’t yours in the first place!

So the next time you feel something, ask yourself “Does this emotion belong to me” And if not, simply observe the emotion in a meditative state while you allow it to flow out of you. It’s a case of detachment.  Energy is meant to flow and emotions are energy.

I wish you luck! Recognising your value is a long journey but ultimately the most rewarding.

Emma

http://www.emmavergara.com