Dear Lulu:

You are very welcome and thank you for expressing your appreciation. I believe that it is admirable that you  worked so hard and keep working to be as calm as you are. If you want, I will be glad to read about that future conversation, if it happens and what is next for you.

I will be surprised if such a conversation happens, an honest and open conversation, on his part, very surprised, from what you shared about him.  But I suppose there is a chance. Notice the title of your thread, “Lost in a long term relationship”, can you possibly be more lost once separated from him-

– maybe you will find yourself, away from him. It is not  too late for you to have a relationship that is intimate and safe, after a separation.

anita