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Thank you Anita, Amanda, Jaclyn and Mark. I respect your opinions.
I guess the part of not wanting to be at a certain place at a certain time goes to saying ‘yes’ to things I think I should do, as opposed to what I want to do? I really like to be in control. My parents relationship was not healthy, and as a child, I remember thinking “I will never let myself get trapped in a relationship that is so awful” (verbal and emotional abuse, Dad to Mom). I know, I’m 58! Get over it. I guess I need to understand it that’s part of my fear of commitment, and/or how to progress beyond this.
I have met some great people, and I’ve been the reason these relationships have ended. However, sometimes I think I’m not great at judging what are the ‘must haves’ compared to ‘icing in the cake’ as far as characteristics (and personality quirks) that are priorities to me.