Dear lisa:

You are welcome. First, you have to meet a man who is worthy of your trust because “being vulnerable” to an untrustworthy man is a bad idea. So you learn about the man gradually, over time, in different contexts before you get deeply emotionally involved with him. A friend first, boyfriend/ lover- later.

The anger you felt at your mother for staying, you still feel this anger and it fuels your staying-away behavior, staying away from intimate relationships, being that “private person”.

How intense is this anger, will you tell me how strong it has been?

anita