Lillian,

I wonder why you two broke up the first time.  When you said you have been together for 3 years, was that after your first break up or did you break up sometime during those 3 years?  If so, then how long were you two not together before you came back together?

In relationships, I learned that if I want an (emotionally & communicative) intimate, loving, understanding and kind relationship then there is no blame.  I use the Marshall Rosenberg Non-Violent Communication model (you can Google it) where we all have these set of Universal needs that we are each responsible to take care for ourselves.  Negative emotions come out of unmet needs.  And our partner is not responsible for meeting all or any of our needs especially when we done communicate and agree about it.

Based on those premises, your boyfriend has this need for closeness and communication.  Using your weekend trip as an example, what he did not communicate to you (and you agreeing on) is how often, how much, what kind and when to have this communication.

Plus it is important to know what each other’s Love Language is so that each of you can feel loved and know how to “give” love to the other in their Love Language.  You can Google that as well.  There are five of them.

It appears that your boyfriend’s Love Language is Quality Time.  This is another topic for discussion and explicit agreement, i.e. agree how much is “enough” for him and when so that you don’t have to second guess about spending time with other people.  If you negotiate when are the best times for you two to spend Quality Time together then you should be able to be free to spend the rest of the time with other people and for other things.

Make sense?

Mark