Kkasxo,

It sounds like fear is dominating everything for you at the moment. It’s a powerful emotion and can twist things into perspectives that may not be the truth.

I think a house share would be the best option for you right now. Even if your ex (current bf?!) does follow through, perhaps waiting a while to move in together until ye are on more stable & confident ground would be wise. So in the meantime, at least try and get settled somewhere yourself so that his actions won’t pull the rug from under you either way.

Change is terrifying. It makes sense. You’re dealing with a lot and managing to survive by keeping the status quo right now. But that will soon change and it can be frightening. That’s why preparation is key. We can’t control everything but if we sort out what we CAN control, it cuts down on the fear.

Check our some places and see how you get on. It’s never forever, it’s just a place to sleep and eat and worst case scenario you move again if you don’t like it, but that is worst case.

Its the unknown frightening you. Same as me. It gets me every time. What if I’m lonely, what if I don’t like it, what if he doesn’t change, what if I have to go through more pain and trauma. All fearful thoughts.

But……what if you really like your new place? What if you find a new friend in a new flat mate, what if it opens up new and bright possibilities. It’s just perspective I guess. The uncertainty will always cause fear, so grab the bull by the horns and take away some of the uncertainty.

Im ok, I guess I’m in trouble. Supposed to go away on fri with my ex for his bday which he didn’t get to celebrate because he was working. But no clue what it is. We have not been any way romantic since meeting up recently. It’s all been just friendly. I’m making the effort to get this off the ground again, he’s not. So I’m not an idiot, I am probably headed for a fall, but yet I still really like being with him. Says a lot about me……which doesn’t seem to be changing despite all my therapy and reading etc.

S x